Prayers for our Children

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Trip 2 - Day 3

Our day SHOULD have started at 10:45am. Sadly Norm's started much earlier - 3am - which means mine did too because I could hear him furiously pecking away on the computer as I tried my best to go back to sleep. My efforts proved fruitless. Hopefully tonight we'll actually sleep all the way through to our alarm.

Pasha picked us up at 11am, and we arrived at the orphanage at noon exactly. It was raining the first half of the day, so we couldn't play with Ilya outside. Instead they escorted us to a portion of the orphanage we had never seen, but still away from the other children, and gave us 2 rooms plus a hallway to visit Ilya in. It was interesting to see this portion of the orphanage because I have a much better idea now of what Ilya's environment looked like before they started renovating everything.

The caregivers must have woke him up from a nap because the poor little guy looked really out of it at first, but he quickly came to life and charmed us with his laughter and cooing. As always, we were not allowed to let Ilya sit or crawl on the floor because it was dirty. So, if we weren't carrying him or helping him walk, we were trying to get him to sit still in a chair with us which he wasn't exactly thrilled to be doing! Don't get me wrong...he didn't fuss or anything he's just a very wiggly, active little fella who wants to be MOVING now that he's discovered the joys of being mobile! We purchased a lapseat only for Ilya's flight home, and I'm really starting to think that arrangement isn't going to work! He doesn't want to sit, he wants to GO! And he wants to go as fast as his little legs will carry him. He still laughs with each step he takes and it's just adorable!

Halfway through our visit, the Social Worker who will speak in court stopped by to meet us and watch us interact with Ilya. She was very nice and I hope we made a good impression on her. When I found out who she was & the purpose of our visit, I admit that I became a little nervous. Honestly though, I knew this would happen at some point & she was really able to put me at ease. She enjoyed seeing all of the photos from our first trip and loved how easily Ilya took to Norm during our very first introduction. She had lots of smiles as she flipped through our album, and kept commenting on how happy Ilya (and we!) looked. I hope this all translates to nothing but positive responses from her in court.

We left the orphanage at 1:30 and sat in more ridiculous traffic. I tried to take some photos of things on the ride back to Moscow but honestly, this was my only view pretty much the entire way:


Jealous, aren't ya?! :-) Oh, and the lovely exhaust fumes that went along with this photo. I nearly forgot about that! I think I have black lungs now...
Once we finally got back to the city, we made a quick stop by the CSS office to pick up a care package that Ana left for me on her final trip. THANK YOU ANA! This will be so handy to have!
The plan tomorrow is to leave for the orphanage around 11am again, visit with Ilya until 1:30 and head back to CSS. We'll meet our court translator tomorrow afternoon and go over what to expect in court on Thursday. If the weather cooperates, we're going to dinner at the Arbat TGIF with Dana & Aaron, Denise, Mike & their son Joshua, Emily, David & their son Zach, and Lisa & Kevin, and maybe a few other folks if it all works out. Norm & I are staying in an apartment off of Tverskaya, which is about a 30 minute walk to Arbat. Hopefully the weather will cooperate so we can enjoy our walk to the restaurant. It will be great to finally meet everyone, share photos and thank them all for their support throughout our journey.
Guess that's it for now. Enjoy your evening and please keep us & the Cravens in your prayers for successful court on Thursday. The Craven's hearing is at 10am and our is at 11am. Please let everything go well for all of us!!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Trip 2 – Day 2 Family Reunion!!

We had a GREAT day and a fabulous reunion with Ilya!

Pasha picked us up at 10am. We first headed to the CSS office to drop off the FedEx package we carried over for our fellow families, and to give "I" that last minute document I had to have apostilled right before we left last week. Both "I" and "S" look well rested after their vacations, and were hard at work when we walked in. I have a feeling more CSS families will be making trips very soon!

While we waited, “S” tried to arrange an appointment with a notary for us. Moscow recently changed their adoption petition, which we signed & notarized on our first trip, but had to redo today due to these changes. The notary wasn’t available for us until after 3pm, so we headed to the orphanage. I think we left CSS around 10:45 or thereabouts. (Sidenote about the notary – we ended up arriving at their office close to 3pm and didn’t get out of there until well after 4:30. Over 1.5 hours to sign and notarize 3 forms!! The notary process is Russia is way different than home.)

Pasha took a different route to the orphanage than K&A did on our first trip, so I was a little confused at first. Thankfully, Pasha’s knowledge of the backroads meant we were able to skip a lot of the highway traffic, which we caught glimpses of from time to time and all laughed at as we zoomed along! I don’t advise laughing at other motorists though, when you’re in Moscow. Our cockiness definitely bit us in the you-know-what on our way back to Moscow. It was a m.i.s.e.r.a.b.l.e. ride!

We arrived at the orphanage and were told that Ilya had just woken up and was being fed lunch. They told us we could wait outside and they’d bring him out to us once he finished. The weather was absolutely gorgeous today - mid 70's - so it was great just to sit outside and enjoy the slight breeze and listen to the birds chirping.

Before I knew it, Ilya’s psychologist “T” was walking down the path with what I suspected was Ilya, but the bundle she was carrying more closely resembled a huge load of laundry than an infant boy! Our little guy had so many layers on, he could barely move. I was warm already in my short sleeve shirt, but when I saw him I started sweating out of sympathy! Remember I just said it was in the mid 70's....He had on a down jacket, a long sleeve shirt, and I’m sure another layer beneath that. They had also placed the tights on him again, and on top of all of that was a fleece jumpsuit. Oh, and don’t forget about the fleece hat that was tied under his chin! Oy! Thankfully “T” came back a short time later with just windbreaker to replace that horrible down jacket, but even the windbreaker was too warm as far as I’m concerned!

I really do think Ilya remembered us! It might have taken a few seconds but I could definitely see a spark go off in his eyes as “T” handed him over to me. He smiled pretty quickly and really enjoyed being held. I took him over to see his papa, and it seemed he recognized Norm as well. We were both very pleased.

I wanted to see how much his walking had improved. Towards the end of our first week with him back in March, he was doing pretty well holding onto our fingers. Today, as soon as those toes were on the ground and he had our fingers in his grip, he was GONE and laughing his adorable little laugh the entire way! The boy may very well be a sprinter! He LOVES to walk and gets so excited, especially when you clap your hands and tell him “good job.” I’m not kidding when I say he laughed the entire time. Each step meant a giggle, and sometimes a full out belly laugh, and it was the most amazing sound ever!

We decided to see if he liked the swing, and let me tell you, I know what Norm’s first project is going to be once we’re home. Ilya had never been on a swing before today, so I’m thrilled we got to enjoy that “first” with him. He loved it and had such a blast. He picked up very quickly on how to hold on and if we stopped swinging him, he would try bouncing up & down in the seat, kicking his feet, and rocking back & forth to get us to swing him again. Then he started his laughing and cooing session again. It was awesome! I so love the noises he makes!

Pasha also started playing with him, which was really cute. But the neatest thing that came out of that was that Ilya sought us out as Pasha was playing with him! He was enjoying Pasha’s company but he obviously wanted to be with us!! Ilya made sure one or both of us were in sight, and my heart melted each time he stopped whatever he was doing to search for us. Adoptive parents know how important this is as far as bonding & attachment and I’m thrilled that at least for today, and hopefully forever, Ilya preferred us over someone else. Please don’t get me wrong & think that I don’t want Ilya to enjoy being around people because that is NOT the case at all. But Ilya needs to learn that we are his parents, and that we will be there to meet his needs. I really think that his behavior today tells us we're on the right track so far!!

Other good signs in the bonding/attachment category included excellent eye contact, placing his fingers and hands either in or on our mouths, LOTS of hugs and kisses to us only, imitating us as far as noises, facial expressions, etc., and mimicking other body language.

He has 2 teeth on the bottom now and a third coming in the back of his mouth. His hair is SUPER LONG and I may just have to whip out the scissors once he is officially with us on May 27. I’ve never cut hair before, but I think I can manage a straight, quick snip if his hair is wet. I can’t let him walk around with hair down to his shoulders! I couldn’t believe it when I saw that much hair peaking out from underneath his oh-so-fashionable hat.

Ilya’s schedule has changed since we were here last, and they’ve asked us not to get to the orphanage before noon. So, tomorrow Pasha will be picking us up at 10:45am. I can’t wait to see how much Ilya’s personality continues to shine in the coming days!


Oh - - I forgot to mention that Norm was officially hazed into parenting today! Ilya spit up all over himself and Norm's jeans! Woo-hoo - - Go Daddy! :-)

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Trip 2 - Things that go bump in the night

In Moscow that is!

1. Midnight - startled awake by something I can only describe as sounding like a street sweeper gone mad. No idea what that was.

2. 1:30am – fell back asleep only to find myself wide awake at 2:15am thanks to neighbors slamming doors shut

3. 3:15am – almost drifted back asleep and that’s when the jackhammering started. Yes. Jackhammering. At 3:15. Incessant, nerve wracking, jackhammering outside our window.

4. 4:45am – Norm makes us peanut butter sandwiches since we’re both STARVING so now I need to brush my teeth again but the tub gurgles for a good 15 minutes when we use our bathroom sink. It's really quite lovely.

This is just cruel…

Trip 2 - Day 1

After the scariest landing I've ever not had the privilege of being part of, I'm happy to report we made it safely! For those of you who didn't know, Moscow (or perhaps all of Russia??) changes their clocks this time of year, so they are actually 8 hrs. ahead of EDT, not 7. We landed around 1:40pm Moscow time, were herded through passport control along with everyone else, and the grueling wait for luggage began. We finally had all our stuff around 2:30 or thereabouts, and made our way past the scary people at the xray machine who ran us down like criminals on our first trip.

Unlike our first trip, we had no idea who would be meeting us at SVO as our driver/translator. Wanna take a guess at who met us? Pasha!! He is a bit of a celebrity amongst CSS families and we are thrilled to have him with us for the next 3 weeks. We will miss K&A but I've looked forward to meeting Pasha ever since reading about how well he took care of Rob & Dede and Susan & Randy. By the way, I gave Pasha a quick update on both your boys & he loved hearing about how well they're doing!

The apartment manager wasn't at our apartment when we got here, so Pasha took us on a quick walking tour of a few blocks on Tverskaya street. Thankfully there is a grocery literally across the street from us. And it's not just a run of the mill grocery store....it's absolutely stunning. I'll try to take pictures to share, but Norm thinks I'm a dork when I bring the camera out, so we'll have to see how that goes. We also have a Sbarro Pizza across the street, and a My-My (pronounced Moo-Moo's) on our corner. My-My has had great reviews from other families so we're looking forward to checking it out. Pasha also made sure we knew where the underground tunnels were to SAFELY cross the street. Thank you Pasha!

We're trying to meet up with Denise & Mike H. tonight but we may have missed each other. Neither of us can figure out how to make local calls from our apartments. We did trade a few emails & I'm hoping we can firm up plans but if not, we can try again later in the week. Providing, of course, their son is up for an outing!

I've saved the best news for last....we get to see Ilya TOMORROW! Woo-hoo! Not that possibly meeeting Denise & Mike isn't great news! LOL! I thought for sure we wouldn't see Ilya until Tuesday or Wednesday, so I'm thrilled we get to go see him tomorrow. First thing's first though, which is stopping by the CSS office to drop off the paperwork we carried over for so many CSS families. Fear not...It will be hand delivered to Svetlana first thing tomorrow.

I guess that's it for now. Please keep us in your prayers for a wonderful reunion with Ilya tomorrow. I can't wait to give him hugs from all the family back home.

Paka!!
Karyn & Norm

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Outta here

I have one tip for my fellow adoptive families...DO NOT WAIT UNTIL THE DAY YOU LEAVE TO PACK! Not a good idea...not at all!!

Sorry folks, but there is absolutely NO thought process going into this post other than pure chaos. In 12 minutes, we walk out our door never to return to our house again as simply Karyn & Norm. Rather, we'll return in 21 days as very blessed, very fortunate parent to the most precious & perfect little boy.

Life is good ya'll - -life is good indeed!

Please keep us in your prayers for safe travels, a wonderful reunion with Ilya on Tuesday and of course success in court on Thursday.

Paka!
Karyn & Norm

Next post - Moscow!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

But really, who’s counting??

May 10, 2008 - In 4 days (or 345,600 seconds, or 5760 minutes, or 96 hours) we’ll be back at Dulles, facing a 10 hr flight to Moscow

May 11, 2008 - In 5 days (or 432,000 seconds, or 7200 minutes, or 120 hours) we’ll actually set foot on Russian soil

May 13, 2008 - In 7 days (or 604,800 seconds, or 10,080 minutes, or 168 hours) we’ll head to the CSS office in Moscow, then to a notary, and FINALLY will see our precious baby boy again!

May 14, 2008 - In 8 days (or 691,200 seconds, or 11,520 minutes, or 192 hours) we’ll spend a 2nd glorious day with our son

May 15, 2008 - In 9 days (or 777,600 seconds, or 12,960 minutes, or 216 hours) we’ll be in court, praying the judge says “DA!” (not only for us but the Craven’s us well, whose court date is the same as ours)

May 27, 2008 - In 21 days (or 1,814,400 seconds, 30,240 minutes, or 504 hours) we’ll celebrate Gotcha Day! (the official day we take custody of Ilya)

May 31, 2008 - In 25 days (or 2,160,000 seconds, or 36,000 minutes, or 600 hours) Ilya will be HOME!

June 1, 2008 - In 26 days (or 2,246,400 seconds, or 37,440 minutes, or 624 hours) I seriously I doubt I’ll have time to figure out stuff like this!! And for that, I bet you’re all VERY grateful!

Thanks for humoring me by reading this. I’m trying to keep my mind off of my court anxiety…didn’t work as well as I had hoped! Oh well…

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Holding Me Gently

I started gathering together the different documents we will need to take with us when we visit the US Embassy and other places on our final trip to Moscow –

- Copy of our 171-H from USCIS
- Copy of our homestudy
- Recent pay stubs
- Copies of last 3 years federal tax returns
- I600 (another immigration form)
- Letter of Good Standing for our homestudy agency (this is the “new” document I mentioned yesterday – yes, I got it but of course lots of drama was involved...waaaaay too much drama. I won’t bore you with the details. My fellow CSS families already know since I had a minor meltdown this morning & told them all about it on our Yahoo group. Thanks again everyone for letting me vent!)

I have a pendiflex folder that has 6 pockets/sections for keeping things nice & orderly. It’s lightweight and compact, and really keeps me organized so I thought it would be nice to use to hold the Embassy documents, our itinerary, the phone numbers & addresses of the other CSS families who will be in Moscow at the same time as us, etc…anyway, my point is that I can use each of the 6 sections for different things we’ll need on our trip. I was really excited to start placing everything in it, but first I had to find it. Much to my surprise, it was in the very first place I looked! There were some old papers in the pockets, so I started pulling everything out and tossing them. I got to the last pocket and stopped. There in front of me I saw a very familiar looking card…one I haven’t seen since late April, 2006…two years ago. Wow…

The front of the card has a beautiful sterling silver cross tied on by a green gingham bow. Before I opened the card again for the first time in 2 years I held it close to me, so that the cross was over my heart, knowing full well what was written inside. I prayed to God and thanked him for answering the prayers that were inside, and for reminding me today just how truly blessed I am. Then, I opened the card and read these words (I added the bold for emphasis):

“Dear Karyn, Please know that your family at EUMC is holding you up in prayer for physical and emotional healing. We ask God to hold you gently and listen to your most intimate thoughts and prayers. Blessings to You – The Body of EUMC”

A few weeks before receiving this card, Norm & I were celebrating my pregnancy. We had selected Matthew Lawrence as the name for our baby, and we had finished registering at Babies R Us. Shortly after those milestones, I started feeling…weird…both physically and mentally. I knew, somehow I knew something was wrong and I went for a checkup. No one in my then-doctor’s office believed anything was wrong & basically told me I was overreacting, which by the way they diagnosed without any medical tests of any sort. None. Just this simple statement: “Just give it time and enjoy being pregnant. After all, we’re the medical professionals. You are not. Let us do our jobs. K?”

Um, no that was NOT okay. Not at all. I immediately went for a second opinion at a new doctor’s office. After hearing my medical history and my current symptoms, they jumped into action and immediately did an ultrasound in their office. Thus began the road to my receiving the card I found tonight. After a battery of tests, completed over a period of weeks, we learned that our pregnancy was not viable but ectopic. I was much farther along is this pregnancy than my first ectopic, and we found out later that my right fallopian tube had burst. My health was in serious jeopardy…and my baby…well, my baby had no chance of surviving. The aftermath of this ordeal had left my right tube so mangled and out of sorts, I had to undergo surgery to have it & surrounding scar tissue removed. My left tube is “iffy” at best so I knew a future pregnancy would likely never happen.

But you know what else I knew, felt and believed in for as long as I can remember?

I have always found comfort knowing we could build our family through adoption. Even if Norm & I had biological children, I knew I also wanted to pursue adoption. So I began to pray the bolded portion of the card above…for God to hold me close and listen to my prayers. To speak to Norm’s heart and place in it the same burning desire, the same passion for adoption, that He had placed in my own heart. To lead and guide us down the road that would eventually take us to the child He had selected to be part of our family, wherever that child may be in the world.

And you know what? He listened!
- He gently held me and let me voice my rage, confusion and dreams anytime I needed to
- He provided comfort and peace in regards to Matthew’s passing
- He offered the emotional and physical healing I needed
- He cared about my longing to be a mommy
- He spoke to Norm
- He placed a burning desire in us both to pursue adoption
- He guided us through our homestudy, paperchase, and first trip
- He led us ½ way around the world to our amazing son in a small town in Russia
- He is entrusting us to care for this precious child – His child!
- He will be with us when we travel next Saturday
- He will stand by us in court on May 15
- He will celebrate with us on May 27 when we pick up Ilya from his orphanage
- He will be with us as we travel home on May 31
- He will always be there when we need him, whether we realize we need him or not!

One day Ilya will fell God holding him close as well, speaking to him, encouraging him, loving him, guiding him, and reminding him how very precious he is not only to Norm & me, but to our Heavenly Father as well! So as I get closer to the day when I can gently hold my son close to me, I am reminded that God has been gently holding me close my entire life!