AACK!! - **UPDATED**

**UPDATE: Turns out a copy of the 171 is FINE. Woo-hoo! Still no news on our court date though and we may not know anything until next week or possibly even later. Trying not to be disappointed but it's tough. Please continue to pray for our son's health and happiness until we're all reunited. Thanks, all.**

All I can say is Thank Heaven for our agency’s Yahoo group! There is a wealth not only of information but also support from fellow CSS families, which I have definitely needed both throughout this process. Any question I have, I know I can post and receive tons of advice on within minutes (sometimes seconds!). I think we’re all addicted to the Yahoo group…no matter what time of day I log on, someone seems to be there ready to step in and help. Thanks everyone!

So this brings me to our latest adoption saga, which this time happens to be self-induced. Grrr… I posted a question on the Yahoo group yesterday about bringing any or all of our dossier with us on Trip 2. This morphed into a discussion about needing your ORIGINAL 171 (immigration approval) for our Embassy visit … hold on … ORIGINAL??

Uh-oh!! That’s a bit of a problem seeing as how we had our original notarized, apostilled and sent to Moscow in Susan’s carry-on!! We made a copy of it for ourselves and for our Asheville office, but the lovely original is sitting somewhere in Moscow, brightly gleaming in all its originality! Again, I say Grrrr……

I immediately sent an email to our Asheville office asking how badly I had messed up, and followed up by voicemail this morning in case the email never makes it to them. I don’t know if us having the original on us at the Embassy is an absolute necessity or if we can get by with our copy. I don’t know if the Moscow office can somehow get our original back to us if we do need it, or if we’re going to have to contact USCIS again (double grrrr….) and beg/plead to have another original sent asap. I don’t know what the process is for getting a new original 171 is, if there will be a fee, or how long it will take to finally receive it. UGH!!

As annoyed as I am with myself right now, I am so grateful we realized this error while we were still in the States and might have a chance to fix it. Can you imagine not discovering this until we're in Moscow, trying to bring our son home??!!

As soon as we have some solid word on what we do from here, I’ll update this post. In the meantime, if you read this please pray for an easy resolution to our oversight. Oh, and also feel free to lift up a quick little prayer that when I speak to Asheville about this, they also have a court date preferrably IN APRIL lined up for us!! :-)

Out of my “funk” – THANKFULLY!

I mentioned before that I wanted to be as honest as possible on this blog, and I think that means admitting to having bad days as well as good ones. Well, here goes…Wednesday was a HORRIBLE day for me…one of the worst of our entire adoption journey thus far. A lot happened on Wednesday to contribute to this (which I won’t go into here), but basically what it boils down to is (i) letting my emotions control me rather than me controlling my emotions and (ii) forgetting that God is much better at handling these things than I am! I’m obviously not equipped to do this on my own.

I was definitely in a better place yesterday, and today I’m happy to say that I’m back to being Karyn! Yay! I have to thank my wonderful husband/best friend for not letting me let my funkiness totally consume me on Wednesday. (I had Wed. off and he & I spent the day together.) No matter what my frame of mind is, he has a knack for being able to make me laugh at any situation (including myself!). Here’s one example of the lengths he goes to for me. Our “agreement” when we got married was that he would cook and I would clean up afterwards. I’m just dangerous around any kitchen appliance/utensil other than the fridge & sink. (Actually, I'm dangerous around the fridge too if there are Thin Mints in the freezer!) I have another confession – I don’t like my food to touch. Ever! It just grosses me out, so Norm will make sure my food items are clearly divided when he puts it on my plate. Yes, he prepares my plate for me also. Yes, he spoils me! No ladies, he doesn’t have a brother. Sorry! Sometimes when he’s dividing my food so it won’t touch he’ll actually make designs…such as a smiley face or maybe a pyramid with nuggets and the veggies as a retaining wall or whatever. It’s always interesting to see what design he comes up with next and it definitely adds a bit of humor to each meal! I digress, sorry!

On the adoption front – still no news of a court date and I don’t expect to hear anything today. It’s already 10am EDT, which means it’s 5pm in Moscow. If a court date had been received today, I’m certain the Moscow office would have informed the Asheville office by now, and they in turn would have contacted us. At least this waiting means we are now 1 week closer to bringing our son home. I think that puts a more positive spin on things rather than saying we’re about to enter our 4th week of waiting (but who’s counting?).

We also received a surprise adoption donation yesterday, which we weren’t expecting it at all. It’s kinda funny that it came when it did because we recently sent our final (and largest!) payment to our agency, and Norm & I spent part of yesterday trying to budget for our return trip. Yeah…we’re in a state of sticker shock! Possible court dates for us are 4/28 (unlikely at this point), 5/12 or anytime after that. There is ANOTHER EXPO in Moscow the week of 5/18 which is making lodging scarce and the rates skyrocket again. It’s like our first trip all over! I was a little freaked out over our numbers, and then we get this awesome surprise in the mail. Adopting our son really is a financial undertaking, and he is absolutely worth every single penny. We are confident that God will continue to provide financial sustenance through additional donations - - or other means that our human minds just can’t comprehend right now.

Oh, and we were able to check something else off of our to do list – gifts for our son’s caregivers! He has 2 caregivers & 4 tutors and we decided to go with a kitchen theme for all of them: an alderwood trivet similar to this, a silicon pot handle sleeve similar to this, and 3 piece mixing spoon set similar to these but black. We’ll buy gift bags & tissue paper as well, and stuff the bags once we’re in Moscow. We still need something for the orphanage director, our son’s psychologist who he is VERY attached to so it has to be special, and “S” and “I” in the Moscow office.

I guess that’s it. Lengthy post I know, but being back to Karyn means being chatty!! Poor Norm…

Good or Bad, other family’s timelines are not my own

Evenin’ Blog Stalkers! Yeah, I’m guilty of blog stalking, too - - especially when we’re so familiar of each other’s timelines and expect on certain days to hear news of court dates, travel dates, dossier registration, dossier translation, etc., so we can celebrate these milestones with each other. Even if it is a virtual celebration!

Most families with our agency have received their court dates on their 3rd Monday home from Moscow. Notice I said “most.” Today is our 3rd Monday home. Needless to say, we did not get our court date today, nor do we have estimation as to when we may get it. We are at the mercy of a judge in Moscow. I hope she’s in a good mood!!

I admit that I am disappointed. The title of this post is something I learned very early in the adoption process but I guess I let it slip my mind. I have to remember that our journey to our son is just that – our journey – and it is not to be determined step-by-step by those who traveled before us. We can use their experiences as a guide but it’s not fool proof. Nor would I want it to be, because frankly there are some hardships other families have endured that I really don’t know I’d be able to handle! Some families are fortunate and get their court date within 2 weeks, and sadly others wait upwards of 5-9 months. So good or bad, other family’s timelines are not mine & Norm’s. It is ours alone and once again, we hand it over to God to handle and hope that He will continue to provide us the same level of peace we’ve had since leaving Moscow last month.

Back to today. By noon I realized we wouldn’t hear any news today and spent the afternoon feeling sorry for myself. I hadn’t planned on posting anything tonight because I knew I’d make it into a sob, poor me story. God has a sense of humor, though, and in His great plan, He had 2 emails waiting for me to give me the boost I needed to “get over it” and carry on. Here’s a portion of one that I thought I would share:

“I just went through your Blog again today and never get tired of doing so. Keep up the good work and God will bless both of you. You inspire others with your letters and stories.”

I’ve never thought of myself as being inspirational, but one of the many reasons I keep this blog is to try and encourage others in the adoption process. While some of my entries may be less than joyful, my main intent is to keep this honest (which includes the good & the bad!). I hope other adoptive families will realize that what they experience and feel to some extent has been experienced and felt by others, and in the end it all works out. Somehow, some way, it all works out.

I also realize that Norm & I are truly blessed in so many ways, one of which includes this wonderful little boy waiting for us in Russia. I put Revelation 3:8 in my header for days like today, as a reminder God led us to Ilya, and He will lead Ilya home!

“Behold, I have put before you an open door which no one can shut.”

So, bring on the court date - - according to God’s will!

P.S. THANK YOU, Aunt Rosemarie, for your words of encouragement. You have no idea how badly I needed to receive a message like yours today. Love you!

Notarized, Apostilled & FedEx'd!

Norm made one last trip to Richmond today to have our 171H and FBI fingerprints apostilled. They're now sitting in FedEx waiting for someone to deliver them to Susan in TX so that she can hand carry everything on Wednesday, 4/9, when she makes her final trip to Moscow to bring little Artem home!

Thank you so much, Susan, for taking these documents with you! Beth was kind enough to take our dossier back in January. We are so thankful to you both...words just can't explain. Susan, you should have a visit from your FedEx guy on Monday! He BETTER show up! ;-)

(Susan, I nearly forgot to tell you...make sure you open the FedEx envelope, there's something more than our docs in there!!)

I also have to give a shout out to our wonderful agency. I have C's home phone number and had questions about our 171H before having it apostilled today. I hated to call her last night, but our question was pretty important and Norm needed to leave super early this morning to head to Richmond. So, waiting till our agency opened today wasn't really an option. C was not upset at all that we had called her at home, at 7pm, and graciously answered all of our questions and set our minds at ease about a few other things that popped up during our conversation. I don't know if other agencies routinely hand out their home numbers to their adoptive families or not, but it seems to me like that's going above and beyond. I am so grateful to C's unwavering commitment to CSS families. The entire staff is wonderful, and my fellow adoptive parents are superb!!

Bob Barker - I'll take door #1! :-)

Norm has a honey-do list for things to do around the house before Ilya comes home. #3,212,007 on the list (kidding, that's actually Ilya's b-day) is to hang doors in our basement, especially the 2 doors that lead from our exercise room and my office into the shared bathroom between them. The doors have actually been hung for awhile but the handles and door jam thingamabobs were missing. (They've been hung so long that I haven't thought about them for a few months.)

So as is my routine, I called Norm when I left work today to let him know I was on my way home. He tells me he has a surprise for me, which I know by past experience can be either a really good thing or a really scary thing. I was trying to decide whether I should rush home at wharp speed (after all, I know all the deputies and can talk my way out of a ticket) or pretend to be stuck in traffic, when Norm said "I think you'll really like what I've done to the doors."

Huh?? Doors? What doors? Then it dawned on me that he must've finally fixed the handles and door jam thingamabobs.

15 minutes later I pull up to our mailbox 1/2 hoping but not expecting to see our 171H waiting for us. I open the mailbox and not only is there no 171H, but no mail of any sort. Bummer - disappointed yet again.

Norm met me in the basement, pride written all over his face because of the surprise waiting for me. He drug me into my office and said "See! Aren't they nice?!" Referring to this:

We ooh'd and awe'd (yeah, we're dorky like that!) and he said, "Open the door and see the other one!" And I saw this:

Wait a second...what's that taped to the door? Need a closer look? Here ya go! WOO-HOO!! Yes, our 171H came today - APPROVED!! Norm has already faxed a copy to C and we're hoping she got it in time to fax/scan and send to I in Moscow so she'll have it tomorrow morning.

One last picture to show how impressed Bandit is with all of this! (Please excuse my Hello Kitty pj's!)

Thank you all so very much for your prayers, support and encouragement. This is a huge weight off our shoulders and a MAJOR step closer to getting Ilya home!

Love this!

Prayer for Our Baby

May you be safe and sleep soundly through the night
May you be safe as you wake to the morning’s light
May you feel our love from so far away,
May it comfort and protect you throughout each day.
We will pray for you, my little one,
Until our time of waiting is done.
We will pray that the Lord keep you safe from harm,
Until the child of our hearts becomes the child in our arms.
–Anonymous

We love you, our sweet boy!
Mommy & Daddy

Peace

When I sat down to write this entry I was feeling very positive and content, even though we don’t have any solid news on our court date. As soon as my fingers touched the keyboard, however, two pesky & annoying visitors stopped by for an unwanted visit….first there was Anxiety, followed quickly by his best friend Impatience. I’m trying to kick them out, as I really don’t have the time or desire to see them before going to work this morning. They’re persistent little buggers though, and they won’t go away. Sigh…

So instead, let me try to focus on what I had planned on writing. Perhaps Anxiety & Impatience will take the hint.

Up until 5 minutes ago I had been holding up much better during this wait time than I thought I would. Don’t get me wrong - - I absolutely want our son home with us, receiving proper care & nutrition, cuddle time, hugs…but at the same time I know that he is in VERY good hands. I have seen him interact with some of his caregivers and I know they love him and he loves them. Their bond is very strong and I am so grateful for that. Knowing this, seeing it with my own eyes, made departing Moscow 11 days ago somewhat tolerable (but barely!). Yes, I miss our little boy more than I could ever express in written words; more than you can imagine unless you, too, are an adoptive family and you’ve been-there-done-that. As I mentioned in Moscow, it physically hurts to not have my son in my arms. I’ll be honest, it just plain stinks!!

With all that said, however, God has definitely blessed me over the past week with a sense of calm, patience, and peace as well as the knowledge that He is looking after our son along with the caregivers. I know this probably sounds like I’m contradicting myself and in some ways I suppose I am. But isn’t that what faith is about…contradicting your own desires, timelines, demands & priorities by handing them over to our loving Father, trusting 100% that He will handle thing much better than you? Letting someone else control situations that you have significant personal interest in is not something many of us is accustomed to doing. It’s a tough concept to get used to at first , but when you do decide to hand it over to God, the sense of relief is wonderful and exhilarating.

Even though I’ve released this wait time over to God to handle, that does not mean that I’m walking around 24/7 about to spontaneously burst into song and dance. (Which Norm is very thankful for, sense I have no rhythm and certainly can’t carry a tune!) I do spend the majority of my day rejoicing in this miracle God is working in my life, but I also have times in my day where I seek God’s sovereign hand to bless me with patience that I know I would never, could never, achieve on my own. In these tough times, when I focus my eyes on Jesus and not the sinking waters below me, I can feel His strength pulling me back to the surface, reviving and renewing me.

There! Now I feel better. Impatience has left the building and Anxiety is quickly departing as well. See ya boys! Actually, skip that. Nothing personl but I hope not to see them again!