The actions of one Tennessee woman have led to the halt of all American adoptions in Russia. The lives of countless waiting children and hopeful adoptive families are now in limbo, including families from our adoption agency who I consider close friends, extended family members. I am heartbroken. Confused. Angry.
Today, I am partnering with other bloggers to assist the Joint Council on International Children’s Services in their efforts to tell the world about how beautiful adopted children are.
Today is “We are the Truth” and this is our story…
On May 15, 2008 the lives of 3 people – my husband, my own, and our amazing son – changed forever. Russian authorities (and of course, God!) blessed us by granting us custody of our beautiful baby boy, 14 months old at the time. Thirteen years of wanting a child had ended for Norm & me, and a lifetime of waiting for mommy & daddy had ended for our son. We each received new titles that day - Mommy, Daddy, Son, Family.
Fifteen days later, Ilya became an American citizen when we crossed through customs at Dulles International Airport. A few hours later we carried him through his front door for the first time, he explored his house, met his dogs and cats, played with his toys, tried on his clothes, and that night slept in his crib with mommy & daddy close by. This was the first time in his life that he had things, and parents, to call his own.
The first few weeks were challenging for all of us as he learned to trust and to let us love him, and as we learned to be parents to a 14 month old who didn’t quite understand how a family unit worked. He bonded with Norm quicker than he did with me, which I admit was difficult and heartbreaking at times. I will never, NEVER, forget the day he willingly gave me a hug and kiss without being prompted or bribed to do so.
I will never forget when he told a little boy in his class “MY MOMMY” as that little boy tried to give me a hug.
I will never forget how with each day his smile grew brighter, his laughs grew louder, his body grew stronger, and our bond grew deeper.
I’ve said it many times, but Ilya is truly an amazing little boy.
He recently started preschool, and despite my initial concerns that he may face some type of developmental delays he is THRIVING in school (and life in general).
According to his teachers and school administrators, he is scary smart.
His language skills are exceptional, as are his problem solving and peace making skills.
He may be the smallest kid in his class, but he will not tolerate being bullied or seeing others kids being bullied.
He will get right in the face of kids teasing other kids and tell them it’s not nice to do that, and to apologize to whomever they were picking on.
And the funny thing is, they do apologize!
It’s hilarious.
His caretakers in the Vidnoye orphanage told us he was a peacemaker then, and he continues today to be a leader in social justice!
Yes, Ilya went through the terrible 2’s and sometimes, not often but sometimes, that carries over into the terrible 3’s.
He does have his moments, but honestly don’t all of us?
More often than not Ilya is a very thoughtful, loving, caring, respectful, happy, considerate, healthy, joyful, funny, helpful little boy.
I cannot imagine our lives without him, and it’s difficult to remember our lives before becoming his parents.
This is why I’m struggling with my emotions today.
I am angry, confused and sad for the children and parents, the family units, whose futures are now jeopardized.
Yet at the same time I am overjoyed at the blessing that is our son.
We’ve had bumps in the road, and I’m sure we may face future potholes, but the fact remains that he is our son, we are his parents, and we are bound by unconditional love.
I just returned from a life-changing trip to Zimbabwe working with nearly 250 orphans on a daily basis.
In the capital of Zimbabwe, a city called Harare, there are approximately 2000 orphans.
Worldwide there are roughly 147 million orphans.
147 million.
Can you grasp that?
In my very first post on this blog in 2007, I stated that there were nearly 700,000 children in Russian orphanages but that statistic didn’t include the approximately 2-4 million homeless orphans living on the streets or in railways.
There are parents, loving parents, waiting to meet these children and bring them home.
There are family units to be built.
There are chances to have prosperous futures where hopelessness currently resides.
But these children need to be given that chance.
We need Russian and American authorities to work together in order for that to happen, and perhaps more importantly potential adopters need to be fully aware of the commitment they are making before venturing into international adoption. There will be challenges and joys, good days and bad days.
And in some cases, rare cases, disrupting the adoption may be in the best interest of the child and their parents.
But sending that child half way around the world on a plane by themselves is definitely NOT the answer.
Whether they are in Russia, Zimbabwe or elsewhere in the world, these children deserve a chance at love.
Thankfully, God’s Will led us to Ilya, and Ilya to us, and the 3 of us have been blessed by the love that comes with being…
FAMILY.
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